A beef idea

There is a line of old animals somewhere in Maharashtra waiting to get slaughtered and cut up cooked on a plate. Out of them, the buffaloes are told to go back home.

“You have been saved by the President. Go home, run!”

The goats and pigs go halla bol, bleating and grunting and hollering.

“Why the buffaloes? They aren’t even worshipped!” said a goat.

“Aren’t we living too?” cried (grunted) a pig.

The chicken sat silently through all this. “We open our mouth or not, we are dead anyway,” they thought.

It’s like Salman Rushdie said yesterday

“Congratulations Maharashtra: it is safer to be a cow than a woman, Dalit or Muslim in the state.”

The beef traders of the state are suddenly searching their houses for all the money they have saved. The beef traders of other states have prostrated before their gods praying that this ban doesn’t become nationwide.

Imagine you are eating a spoon of your favorite dish in the world and somebody comes by, snatches the spoon and runs away. How would you feel? That’s what many people are going through.

The beef traders have been snatched of their jobs, the beef lovers of their beef. And the snatchers are doing the evil laugh.

Till now cattle ‘fit for slaughter’ were allowed to be killed. Where would all these wizened animals go? Which trader would be so kind that he would give them fodder when he has a hundred more mouths to feed?

And the police? Would they be going unannounced to various beef addas and sniff around for a shred of buffalo meat?

What the law is trying to prove, we cannot say. But it is odd that eating beef means 5 years in jail and touching up someone’s buttocks means only 2 years in jail. Brings us back to what Salman Rushdie said.

It’s weird, our country. Freedom and equality, they claim to be there, but they are cut to measure according the country’s cultures and beliefs.

Now you tell me, on what basis are these measurements taken when everyone has a different culture to follow?


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